This is exciting. Since the beginning of my Seat Buddy Profiles series, I've yet been able to write a profile on Chinese travelers. I've had seat buddies who are Chinese, obviously, but last time it was a middle-aged guy who was mostly concerned in sleeping throughout the flight, and before that I did have a very interesting discussion with a Chinese tour guide, but it was long before I started this project and I'd mostly forgotten what we talked about.
This time was also a bit different because I flew via Moscow, because the non-stop between Shanghai and Helsinki by Finnair was simply overbooked and thus too expensive. Yay Aeroflot for: 1) better in-flight film and entertainment selection, 2) little luxury such as slippers and eye-shades (yes, even in economy!), but nay for the lagged-behind luggage due to extreme short layover time in Moscow, which in turn was because of the first flight being delayed... Well, I could consider myself lucky that the luggage arrived the next day and didn't get lost, for example.
Anyway, you probably came here to read about Yanwen and Mingjian, and not hear about my rambles about airlines.
They are a young couple from Shanghai on their way to an independent travel tour around Italy. Two weeks on a Rome-Florence-Venice-Milan roadtrip and then back. Never been to Italy myself, I felt just a tinge of envy as they browsed their Lonely Planet: Italy guidebook. He (Mingjian) is an IT-engineer at a big SOE (state-owned enterprise), obviously some technical industry. She (Yanwen) does clerical work at a healthcare software developer, which is a private company with strong government ties. Both were born in 1986, same age as myself.
It was actually kind of sweet, albeit clichéd, how they met. They were tongzhuo in junior high-school. That is to say, well... seat buddies. He was the quiet one, while she talked even too much at times. They then went separate ways for high-school and even university, but since their families lived close to each other in Hongkou district, and Yanwen's good friend was also Mingjian's cousin, they kept close all these years.
Upon deeper prodding, I learned that they actually married in January, and thus this would constitute a kind-of honeymoon for them. Honey-fortnight? You couldn't tell they were married since they didn't sport their wedding rings. Actually, I learned that they didn't throw a wedding banquet either. Both were Shanghainese but still felt it was too expensive to hold one. I didn't want to be rude and mention the l-word, but it really seemed that way.
Actually, neither of them were in a hurry for getting a child, either. Probably also because of the economic pressures. I flashed back to my earlier envy of their trip to Italy, and realized how damn selfish fool I had been to even think that way. That how "Privileged White Male" life mine has actually been, despite some minor bumps along the road. I could afford a diamond ring (albeit not big) and a "proper" wedding banquet (albeit not big either, as we only had a few invitees) for my wife. We live comfortably in one of those walled gardens (albeit very far from downtown and not as high-end compared to where most expats stay), and could afford a nanny, and all the related expenses that come with having a baby or two.
I'm actually not trying to boast myself and our lifestyle here, quite the contrary: that someone who would choose to luo hun and could live happily thereafter... that they could look past all that... crap that young urban adults face in China these days. I can only say that true love trumps all. Maybe that even undermines ours somehow, I don't know... better not to think about it too much :)
And what a great attitude they had: of course they were also a little envious about the life I've led, but not because of the material side, rather the immaterial. Yanwen told me that she was mostly envious of the Nordic education I had. Much more free time and opportunities to explore one's own interests. For example filmmaking in my case. Too much competition in China, and kids end up living the unrealized lives of their parents. How sad this thought is. She really recommended we move away when our child/children get to school age.
I could really sympathize with this young couple (err.. still same age as me), and the hardships they face everyday. My discussion with them and this reflection thereafter really served as an eye-opener for myself. I hope my messed-up transfer and lagged luggage didn't happen to them too and affect their honeymooning in Italy. Their connecting flight was supposed to depart only 20 minutes after mine...
By the same token, I hope I could learn to better appreciate what I have because too often we take our lives for granted when it's really not.
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