Friday, January 23, 2009

The last entry

Friday 23rd January. Two days after coming back to Finland.

Weather: Foggy, as if in a dream.

If this was a dream, I'd gladly wake up, back in Beijing. But as I know it's China that stays as the dream, I now only wish I could sleep endlessly and never wake up.

Alas, I have to let go. Goodbye Tsinghua, goodbye Beijing, goodbye China.

Until next time.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

"牛" year (bad pun intented)

During New Year's eve I worked long to write some cards to accompany stuff I'd give people. People who mostly wrote me cards I received on Christmas. It's so unfair: to be in the center of attention... I feel I'm in such a debt after all this.

I was rushing on a bike to the Grand Auditorium of Tsinghua at 23:57 during that night to catch the midnight with the movie evening that was going on there. Suddenly while riding I remembered a scene exactly from a year before. I was home with mom and my little brother, lighting the pathetic amount of fireworks we had for that evening. I realized that this year I wasn't there. What about next year? Our family concept is spread so thin across different continents. It must be hard for my brother. Or maybe he doesn't care, I don't know.

The New Year's day slept in, woke up really late and did nothing in particular. I really enjoyed the sense of freedom on this day. On the other hand, that meant I had no one to share it with. They say the first day will mark the rest of the year. It's so assuring to know now that I spent it alone. Heh-heh.

Every day that takes me closer to the day I leave is just going to leave me more mixed feelings. But I still haven't started counting the actual days, which is a good sign I guess.